Taped from Corpus Christi, Texas let’s talk some smack.
The show started with a video package and then we got Kane in the ring. He talked about spending 60 days at the Undertaker’s side. Um, what about all the time you spend traveling with WWE with your job? What a liar, Kane. You are so evil. Then he said Undertaker moved and said two words, which was the name of his assailant. Michelle McCool? Paul Bearer? Giant Gonzalez? We just don’t know, but Kane knows and it’ll be in his head forever. “The man who attacked my brother is Rey Mysterio” says Kane. Crowd doesn’t like that. Technically he put him out of action when he leaped on him and broke his orbital with his legs/groin area. They showed a clip of when Undertaker beat Rey and Kane said that’s why Rey went after Undertaker. Anyway, the cheesiness continued with Kane looking into an empty casket talking about ending Rey. It was a five minute promo with some nice editing effects, but I don’t love the angle. I just want the veggie angle to end. I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that.
Christian d. Drew McIntyre (**)
Good match that got about 12 minutes although I was hoping for better. I’m shocked that they keep calling Drew “The Chosen One” as they continue to book him to lose matches. I loved the spot that turned the tide in the match where Drew grabbed Christian by the arm and pulled him hard into the side of the ring. That was great. The majority of the match was Drew working over that left arm by Christian. With Drew setting him up for the Future Shock DDT, Christian was able to counter with a small package for the win. The problem with Smackdown is that Drew just had a feud with Matt Hardy that took forever, but did it really elevate either guy? No. So now there’s this feud, which is pretty much the same thing. Where’s the progress? They’re just having matches for the sake of it, which is fine, but at some point there has to be some movement. Right?
“Grooming Tips with Dashing Cody Rhodes” time. Eww, close-ups of acne. And we get Cody talking to us about getting a facial. Am I really watching this? It wasn’t that long this week. That’s good, at least.
Alberto Del Rio promo playing billiards. I hit FF on the DVR. I just want the guy to debut already.
Backstage, CM Punk was angry. He’s so mad that he lost his hair two months ago that he shaved his head for months. At least he has some hair now. Punk basically berates Serena, Luke & Joey Mercury saying none of them would survive without him. It was a great promo. Punk’s great right now. He always is, but he’s great when he’s got a good angle to sink his teeth into.
How old is that Just for Men commercial? I swear it feels like a decade old. They got enough money to keep sponsoring this show, though.
Big Show d. Luke Gallows via DQ (1/2*)
Ha, at one point in the match Show told ring announcer Tony Chimmel to bring the microphone up so that we could hear how loud it was when he chopped Gallows in the chest. The match didn’t even go two minutes when the SES started to beat on Show. They had Gallows & Mercury hold Show down while Punk & Serena’s high heel boots stomped on his right hand while on the ring steps. They stomped on the hand for about 30 seconds or so leaving Punk knocked out on the floor. The announcers said the hand may be broken. Yep, they are doctors. Good angle in terms of adding heat to this feud. I assume this leads to a big Punk/Show match in the near future.
It’s plug time for the FIRST EVER The John Report podcast show recorded this past Wednesday. You can click on the player to listen to it there and you can save it to your computer. I answered 50 questions and the show is 75 minutes, so give it a listen.
Dolph Ziggler d. Kofi Kingston via DQ (**1/2)
Remember on Raw when I said if that Dibiase/Morrison match was on Smackdown it would get 12-15 minutes? Well, this match got 14 minutes. That’s the difference between the two shows. This is a rematch from last week when Ziggler scored the win. They worked a better match than the Christian/Drew match although it was typical of what you get on the midcard of Smackdown. The story was about the post match. Vickie slapped Kofi while he was stuck on the ropes, so Kofi went nuts. He attacked Ziggler, didn’t let up and the ref DQ’d him. Post match, he beat on him on the floor with fists. The crowd was getting behind him, chanting “Kofi! Kofi!” and supporting him a great deal. It was a rare showing of emotion from Kingston, which is what his character needs. He’s too babyface-ish. Being pissed off about Vickie trying to cheat for Dolph works for him. I thought Kofi did a great job. Good to see that.
Next week it’s Kofi vs. Dolph for the IC title. Would be nice to see that Summerslam. I guess it could still happen.
Raw recap with the WWE team fighting with eachother.
Backstage, Swagger said he’d throw Rey into the Gulf of Mexico during their match. It’s apparently nasty, disease infested water. He claimed he wouldn’t make it to Summerslam.
Backstage, Tiffany and Kelly walked. Kelly’s showing some fantastic cleavage. God bless her.
Michelle McCool d. Tiffany (*)
Tiffany’s song might be worse than the Bellas. I can’t decide. Both are so bad. It was supposed to be Layla vs. Tiffany, but it got changed to Michelle vs. Tiffany by Vickie. Tiffany has charisma and is poised for greatness according to Striker? Ha, what? That’s hilarious to me. Charisma needs to mean more than smiling like a typical blonde all the time. I give Tiffany some credit because she is okay in the ring and I think she’s better than Kelly. Still not close to being as good of a babyface worker as what we’ve seen in WWE. Tiffany was in control, Layla interfered, Kelly went after her, Tiffany kicked Layla and then Michelle won with the Faith Breaker.
Post match, Teddy Long went on screen to say there’s only one Women’s Champion. They have to make up their mind on who is going to wear the title. If they don’t decide then next week he will. In other words he didn’t pay attention to the Women’s Title for months. Can’t say I blame him.
Another Alberto Del Rio promo. I’m sure he said something we should give a shit about. I don’t…give a shit that is.
Rey Mysterio vs. Jack Swagger ended in a WTF? (*1/2)
How many times have we seen this match in the last two months? It’s really been overdone and I say that even though I like both guys more than most people do. To spice it up this time they made it a No DQ match with the idea that they were going to end it outside the ring. Where exactly? The Gulf of Mexico, just like Jack Swagger said. The stuff outside was so campy. Jack had Rey on his shoulder, then a car came, so Jack put him down, yelled at the car and then picked him up again. They fought out near the water. It looked like Swagger was going to throw Rey into the gulf, but instead Rey countered, did a headscissors and Jack took a lovely dive into the water. Then Jack sold it saying “I can’t swim” even though he clearly could. Rey was about to leave when Kane showed up OUT OF NOWHERE~!, grabbed him by the throat and threw him back first into the water. Ouch! That’s a painful bump by Rey. Ever done a back splash into water like that? Not something I would recommend. It hurts. The show ended with Kane trimphantly looking on.
I thought it was a decent ending in the sense that it was different than the usual, but it was really cheesy. Then again a lot of things have been cheesy on Smackdown since they’ve done the Vegetative angle.
Three Stars of the Show
1. CM Punk – I thought he showed why he is arguably the best performer in all of WWE. Great promo and aggression here.
2. Kofi Kingston – Nice to see them allowing Kofi to show some fire for once.
3. Christian – Had his working boots on like usual.
5.5 out of 10
It was a very average Smackdown this week. The two midcard matches that got time were average at best. It’s like they were booked the exact same way and neither stood out. The main event was fine, but too hokey for me. I don’t know how to react to a match that ends in water across the street.
I like the Punk/Show feud a lot. I think it’ll be great if they put Punk over him. They need Punk in the World Title picture because he’s the best performer on this show. Give that man the push!
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